In Short: Exhausting and Exhilarating.

Three decades ago I was blessed to be an innkeeper of an 11-room inn for about two years, an 8-room inn as interim innkeeper for three or four months, and a 12-room inn with a 50-seat restaurant and full bar as interim innkeeper for about three months. Being an innkeeper utilized all of my strengths, passions, and skills. But it tested me at every turn — and I generally came out of the test smiling.

Innkeeping is not a job or career for everyone. Many of the people holding that position shouldn’t be. To be done well, innkeeping requires a…

I used to think that the best part about growing older was that I could make my own rules, like starting dinner with dessert if I wanted. But, I’m finding there are even better benefits of growing older, and they include realizing that while I may be growing older, I’m not getting older — I’m getting better. Better? Yes, better.

I feel that I’m in better health, have better finances, in a better state of mind, and I feel I have a better encyclopedia of life experiences to share. As I grow older I feel I am growing younger. Age…

It was the twins’ 10th birthday. Their parents had carefully selected their gifts and put them in the kids’ respective bedrooms when they were out. The excitement built as the kids returned from their outing and were told their gifts were in their rooms.

The little boy ran to his room, threw open the door, and saw a dazzling array of toys. There was a programmable toy dog, a Uniwheel skateboard, a Space Blaster shooting game, and a remote control dragon, for starters. His eyes were big with anticipation as he rummaged through the different toys. …

Your bottled emotions, the ones you try to ignore or stuff down, are the key to your success and ultimate joy.

That thought rocked my world a bit. It may have rocked yours. You may even have had a strong reaction against that statement.

The idea shook me up enough that I started researching the premise. What I learned is that when you don’t experience the entire wave of each emotion’s flow, the bottled-up emotion blocks you from experiencing all that life has to give you. You are missing out on the complete development of who you can be.


Sometimes you don’t see the lessons and gifts you are given until it’s too late to say thank you. That’s the case with me about the lessons on living my parents gave me.

My parents were active people and my mom was a fireball. They were involved in so many different activities and services. They took dance lessons, played bridge, water skied; Dad golfed, and Mom played tennis.

They made sure we kids learned a foreign language, learned to play the piano, had us involved in sports, and took us on vacations every summer. Their service work involved the needy…

I’ve long marveled at the people who look as if they can work effortlessly for others. How do they do that? Why do I struggle with that? I see myself as a team player, an element that seems it would be a desirable trait for an employer. I love helping people make projects come to fruition. I work hard, am loyal and dedicated, and I’m reliable. So, why am I not one of those people who works effortlessly for others?

Maybe you struggle with that not-fitting-in feeling, too. …

In Short: Humbling.

Illustration by Randy Cassingham.

For four years I was a Deputy Coroner in my county. I enjoyed the work tremendously. How? you might ask. It brought two of my interests together into one job: science, with the death scene investigation and autopsy (yes, I found that fascinating), and the “hospitality” of doing a death notification.

In Colorado, the coroner takes charge of the deceased’s possessions, arranges for autopsy, handles paperwork, and notifies the next of kin. We do not conduct the autopsy, that’s the job for the pathologist or Medical Examiner. …

Avoiding change is a common human trait. Common in that most people don’t like it, so they avoid it. But, what if the change is good for you? Intellectually you know you need to change something — your diet, sleep patterns, your dental hygiene, or a password — but you avoid it anyway. What’s up with that?

“Change is hard” seems to be a mantra. We don’t want to change our minds, our habits, or our attitudes even when we want to. Accepting change can make for an easier transition. Embracing it can make for a more pleasant transition. …

How many of your childhood games do you play as an adult? Do you remember many of those games? There’s one I love, though I didn’t play much as a kid and don’t as an adult either — Pin the Tail on Donkey. You know the game: There’s a picture of a tailless donkey that gets attached to the wall. The player is blindfolded, handed a paper picture of a tail with a pin attached, spun around, pointed toward the wall the donkey is on, and encouraged to pin the tail to the donkey. A basic game with simple rules.,

A few readers said they don’t know what their truth is. They weren’t connected to their feelings and didn’t know why they needed to be. What then?

This is the second of a two-part series on the Why and How of knowing your feelings — your truth.

Both the Why and How of knowing, feeling, and speaking your truth are difficult for most people. There are a variety of reasons why: You may have been trained to suppress your strong emotions. There are certain, sometimes unspoken, societal and organizational rules against expressing them. …

Kit Cassingham

As a transformation coach with over 30 years of experience, I guide people to amplify their lives to achieve excellence.

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